"Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths.
No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century."
-- Mark Twain
A Hellenic Greek Wedding
Setting Up and Gathering
It should be noted that historically, a wedding in ancient Greece was completed through ritual performed by the family, and priesthood were rarely involved. For the upper classes, it was higly ritualized, and took place over three days. Today's marriage laws don't allow (in most States, at least) for a couple to marry themselves, so in this ritual we provide a priest and priestess to perform the ceremony.
Traditionally, all Hellenic rituals began with a pomp, or sacred journey. Generally, this was seen as a longish walk from the home or a central area, up to the temple. Rituals took place outside of the temples, at exposed altars upon which fires were burned. The general populace did not enter the temples. If the marriage is to take place outdoors, it would be good to organize a pomp of some kind, even if it is only short. If the marriage will be performed indoors, guests should be informed that their entrance into the area set aside for the ceremony should be considered similar to entering a church, mosque or temple of any other religion, and they should speak quietly and not disturb the peace of the place.
The altar should contain images or statues of Artemis, Demeter, Hera, Zeus, Apollon and Dionysos, as well as the gods of the couple, and any household lares or gods. Chairs may be made available for guests, or they may remain standing, as desired by the couple. The items required for the ritual should be assembled and in their places: barley, a knife, fire, a cup, water for khernips, the wine, the incense (or other items to tease the sense of smell), and the food. Any books or texts necessary should also be present. Two chairs should be set up, facing one another, for the couple to sit upon.
A lyknon, a basket of fruit containing a partially hidden phallic image, should be held by a young man in the wedding party. Traditionally, he should be "...as splendid and perfect as possible." This young man should enter with one of the couple. A torch is usually carried by the one of the mothers (or it may be carried by the Priestess if the mother is not available), which might be changed to a candle or lantern for an indoor ceremony.
Three items each should be provided by the couple for sacrifice. They are essentially "wedding gifts" for the gods. Only one of the gifts is specific. A Bride traditionally chooses a doll from her personal collection, and gives it to Artemis. The remaining sacrifices from a Bride go to Hera and Demeter, and a Groom's sacrifices are for Zeus, Apollon and Dionysos. For ceremonies with two brides or two grooms, the sacrifices may want to be split between them, and should be discussed in advance.
The Groom should be dressed in formal robes, perhaps white or red in color. The Bride should wear any bright color, and should be fully veiled with an opaque himateon (body length veil). Her face is not seen until later in the ceremony.
The Pomp
Music is played, and the Priest and Priestess enter, holding the Thrysos and incense. The Bride's mother shoud also enter behind them, carrying a torch or possibly a candle or lantern.
Priest (to the guests):
Marriage is a time of solemnity. Two people may come together for many reasons, but it is considerably more than just young people speaking lines before an audience. This is something to be celebrated and supported by family, friends, and the community which these two are a part of. By your attendance you bear witness to their joining and give your support to their success.
Priestess (to the guests):
As solemn witnesses to this event, we ask you to join us in the making of this room into a holy place. Through the washing of hands with blessed water, we clean ourselves of the miasma of the daily world, and we are purified. By consecrating the hearth/altar with barley, we become one with the couple, and with each other, a true community. In offering libations to the Gods who will witness this marriage, even as you do, we share in the responsibility of watching over these young ones as they grow together in married life. For the libations, if you may not drink for any reason, flicking a droplet of wine to the floor is sufficient.
The Priest and Priestess first wash the Mother's hands, then those of all those gathered, then each others' hands.
The Scattering
Priest:
Let each of you come forward and take a few grains of barley from the basket. Toss the barley into the fire, in order that the hearth be consecrated as the altar for this wedding. In ancient Greece, it was done so, and so we will do it.
Beginning with the Priest and Priestess, then the Bride's Mother (if present) everyone tosses some barley onto the fire.
The Lighting
Priestess:
Hestia, Goddess of Hearth, Home, and Fire, be welcome in this home!
Priest:
Hestia, let the light of your hearth travel with Bride*, from her family home to her new husband's hearth and home. Let your light always be the center of their home together. (* Alternatively, "travel with Name, from his/her family home to his/her new spouse's hearth and home," or some other appropriate variation.)
The Priestess lights the fire in the Hearth.
The Mixing
The Priest and Priestess mix the wine and water together.
The Libations
Priest:
Many say that Hestia was always given the first and last. Today, we honor Hestia first, with this offering of wine.
A small amount of the watered wine is poured on the altar (or into a libation bowl), and then the cup is passed around the guests, each one taking a sip or flicking a drop of it onto the hearth as offering. The Priest takes the last sip, and the last portion of wine is poured upon the altar.
The Homeric Hymn to Dionysos (II):
Priestess:
I begin to sing of ivy-crowned Dionysus, the loud- crying god, splendid son of Zeus and glorious Semele. The rich- haired Nymphs received him in their bosoms from the lord his father and fostered and nurtured him carefully in the dells of Nysa, where by the will of his father he grew up in a sweet- smelling cave, being reckoned among the immortals. But when the goddesses had brought him up, a god oft hymned, then began he to wander continually through the woody coombes, thickly wreathed with ivy and laurel. And the Nymphs followed in his train with him for their leader; and the boundless forest was filled with their outcry.
And so hail to you, Dionysus, god of abundant clusters! Grant that we may come again rejoicing to this season, and from that season onwards for many a year.
A libation is poured to Dionysos.
The Second Libation:
Priestess:
We would not forget the multitudes of gracious gods, of Olympos fair and of the chthonic realms. We hope you will join us this day, and grant to us the gifts of joy and passion that accompany the wedding festivities!
A libation is poured to the other gods.
The Priest and Priestess then move to the space before the chairs and signal the music for the Groom's Entrance.
Entrance of the Groom
The Groom's party enters. First comes the young man bearing the liknon. Then the Groomsmen, carrying the gifts for Zeus, Apollon, and Dionysos. The young man moves immediately to a position behind the two chairs. The Groom and other groomsmen stand to the right.
Entrance of the Bride
The Bride's party enters. This includes the Maid of Honor, Bridesmaids bearing the gifts for Artemis, Hera, and Demeter, the flower children, the ring bearer and, finally the Bride. If the Bride's father is present he should accompany her. If she has a train bearer, then the train bearer comes last. They take position to the left.
The Sacrifice
Priest and Priestess (in unison):
Do your bring offerings for the Gods?
Bride and Groom (in unison):
We do.
The Bride and Groom offer their gifts individually, the Bride to the Priestess and the Groom to the Priest. The gifts should be offered to Artemis, Apollon, Demeter, Dionysos, Hera, and then Zeus. The Priest or Priestess touch the item with the sacrificial knife, and then put the gift into the basket.
Priest and Priestess (in unison):
May these offerings be found acceptable in your sight, O Theoi!
Bride and Groom (in unison):
May these offerings be found acceptable in your sight, O Theoi!
The Homeric Hymn to Aphrodite:
Priest:
I will sing of stately Aphrodite, gold-crowned and beautiful, whose dominion is the walled cities of all sea-set Cyprus. There the moist breath of the western wind wafted her over the waves of the loud-moaning sea in soft foam, and there the gold-filleted Hours welcomed her joyously. They clothed her with heavenly garments: on her head they put a fine, well-wrought crown of gold, and in her pierced ears they hung ornaments of orichalc and precious gold, and adorned her with golden necklaces over her soft neck and snow-white breasts, jewels which the gold- filleted Hours wear themselves whenever they go to their father's house to join the lovely dances of the gods. And when they had fully decked her, they brought her to the gods, who welcomed her when they saw her, giving her their hands. Each one of them prayed that he might lead her home to be his wedded wife, so greatly were they amazed at the beauty of violet-crowned Cytherea.
The Joining
Priestess:
Today, we witness a marriage between this couple. Marriage is more than a simple recitation of vows. It has a significance to the community in which it takes place, and also a significance in the spirits of those who participate and witness it. In ancient Greece, a marriage could be as simple as smearing mud on each other's foreheads, or as elaborate as a full temple ceremony with doves and hecatombs and feasting. Every state has its own rules, so let us fulfill the rules set about by the state in which we reside!
Priest:
The law demands that we ask, is there anyone who knows of any genuine reason why these two people should not be joined? If so, let that one speak, or forever hold peace.
Pause long enough to ensure that no one wishes to speak.
Priest:
Next, it must be determined if these two are willing that this contract shall be made. Therefore I must ask next: Groom (full legal name), will you take Bride (full legal name) to be your wife, to love her, to cherish her, to comfort her, and to care for her?
The Groom answers.
Priestess:
Bride (full legal name), will you take Groom (full legal name) to be your husband, to love him, to cherish him, to comfort him, and to care for him?
The Bride answers.
The Homeric Hymn to Hera
Priest:
I sing of golden-throned Hera whom Rhea bare. Queen of the immortals is she, surpassing all in beauty: she is the sister and the wife of loud-thundering Zeus, -- the glorious one whom all the blessed throughout high Olympus reverence and honour even as Zeus who delights in thunder.
Hail to you, Queen of Marriage, of Commitment, of Authority! Grant this nuptial couple your august presence, and your blessings upon their marriage.
Priestess:
Hera and Hestia, you who witness vows, listen as I ask. (Addressing the guests) Will all of you who are gathered here today consent and support the union of these two, friends being as a family to them and their children?
The guests respond.
The Priest and Priestess take the couple's hands and join them. If the Bride's father is present, he may wish to do this himself.
Priest (addressing the Groom):
Groom, repeat after me:
I, Groom (full legal name), take thee, Bride (full legal name) to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, to cherish, and to honour, for the benefit of us both, and of our children, of our families, and our peoples; and thereunto, before the Gods and our community, I pledge thee my love.
Priestess (addressing the Bride):
Bride, repeat after me:
I, Bride (full legal name), take thee, Groom (full legal name) to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, to cherish, and to honour, for the benefit of us both, and of our children, of our families, and our peoples; and thereunto, before the Gods and our community, I pledge thee my love.
Priest:
If there are tokens, let them be exchanged.
The couple may choose to exchange gifts, rings, or vows at this time. Traditionally, a ring is given to the Bride from the Groom, and represents her "bride price."
Priest and Priestess (in unison):
Then let them be joined! And let them make, one to the other, those vows which are between them and the Gods, and let us ask, in our hearts, that the Gods stand beside them in all things.
The Bride and Groom are seated on the chairs. The Bride's himataeon is lifted and draped over the Groom, so that the two of them are together under her veil. The young man holds the lyknon out over them. Under the veil, the Bride and Groom speak softly to each other, exchanging such vows as are between them. Music should be played during this pause. Pictures may be taken.
The Hymn to Hestia
Hestia, you who tend the holy house of the lord Apollo, the Far-shooter at goodly Pytho, with soft oil dripping ever from your locks, come now into this house, come, having one mind with Zeus the all-wise -- draw near, and withal bestow grace upon my song.
The Priestess fills the cup, spills some upon the hearth, then holds it in readiness.
Priest:
To all the gods we give thanks, for the life that has been and the life that will be. In the hope of their blessings we call forth from their joining Bride and Groom, to share with us their Sacral Feast, our Sacred Libations, and our Community.
The Best Man and Maid of Honor move to help lift the Bride's himataeon back over her head, so that for the first time her face is revealed fully to the crowd. The couple stand and face the crowd.
The Final Libation
The Priestess gives them the cup and they share it, all but the last sip, in whatever fashion is appropriate.
The Groom then leads the Bride to the Hearth, and she pours out the last of the wine upon the fire. Together they put the cup on the altar.
Couple (in unison):
Hestia, yours traditionally is the first and the last.
Priestess:
A new hearth is built, the fire of two houses is joined, the rain falls on the earth, and the river of humanity flows on.
The couple embrace and kiss. Pictures may be taken at this time.
Priest and Priestess (in unison):
We give to you this couple, (chosen names), Partners in Marriage, a family under one roof. So be it!
All:
So be it!
The music resumes or becomes louder. The couple lead out the wedding party, and the guests may ring bells, blow bubbles, throw rice, or any of the other usual wedding customs that are applicable.
Portions of this ritual were borrowed from Dromena for the Celebration of a Marriage.
It should be noted that historically, a wedding in ancient Greece was completed through ritual performed by the family, and priesthood were rarely involved. For the upper classes, it was higly ritualized, and took place over three days. Today's marriage laws don't allow (in most States, at least) for a couple to marry themselves, so in this ritual we provide a priest and priestess to perform the ceremony.
Traditionally, all Hellenic rituals began with a pomp, or sacred journey. Generally, this was seen as a longish walk from the home or a central area, up to the temple. Rituals took place outside of the temples, at exposed altars upon which fires were burned. The general populace did not enter the temples. If the marriage is to take place outdoors, it would be good to organize a pomp of some kind, even if it is only short. If the marriage will be performed indoors, guests should be informed that their entrance into the area set aside for the ceremony should be considered similar to entering a church, mosque or temple of any other religion, and they should speak quietly and not disturb the peace of the place.
The altar should contain images or statues of Artemis, Demeter, Hera, Zeus, Apollon and Dionysos, as well as the gods of the couple, and any household lares or gods. Chairs may be made available for guests, or they may remain standing, as desired by the couple. The items required for the ritual should be assembled and in their places: barley, a knife, fire, a cup, water for khernips, the wine, the incense (or other items to tease the sense of smell), and the food. Any books or texts necessary should also be present. Two chairs should be set up, facing one another, for the couple to sit upon.
A lyknon, a basket of fruit containing a partially hidden phallic image, should be held by a young man in the wedding party. Traditionally, he should be "...as splendid and perfect as possible." This young man should enter with one of the couple. A torch is usually carried by the one of the mothers (or it may be carried by the Priestess if the mother is not available), which might be changed to a candle or lantern for an indoor ceremony.
Three items each should be provided by the couple for sacrifice. They are essentially "wedding gifts" for the gods. Only one of the gifts is specific. A Bride traditionally chooses a doll from her personal collection, and gives it to Artemis. The remaining sacrifices from a Bride go to Hera and Demeter, and a Groom's sacrifices are for Zeus, Apollon and Dionysos. For ceremonies with two brides or two grooms, the sacrifices may want to be split between them, and should be discussed in advance.
The Groom should be dressed in formal robes, perhaps white or red in color. The Bride should wear any bright color, and should be fully veiled with an opaque himateon (body length veil). Her face is not seen until later in the ceremony.
The Pomp
Music is played, and the Priest and Priestess enter, holding the Thrysos and incense. The Bride's mother shoud also enter behind them, carrying a torch or possibly a candle or lantern.
Priest (to the guests):
Marriage is a time of solemnity. Two people may come together for many reasons, but it is considerably more than just young people speaking lines before an audience. This is something to be celebrated and supported by family, friends, and the community which these two are a part of. By your attendance you bear witness to their joining and give your support to their success.
Priestess (to the guests):
As solemn witnesses to this event, we ask you to join us in the making of this room into a holy place. Through the washing of hands with blessed water, we clean ourselves of the miasma of the daily world, and we are purified. By consecrating the hearth/altar with barley, we become one with the couple, and with each other, a true community. In offering libations to the Gods who will witness this marriage, even as you do, we share in the responsibility of watching over these young ones as they grow together in married life. For the libations, if you may not drink for any reason, flicking a droplet of wine to the floor is sufficient.
The Priest and Priestess first wash the Mother's hands, then those of all those gathered, then each others' hands.
The Scattering
Priest:
Let each of you come forward and take a few grains of barley from the basket. Toss the barley into the fire, in order that the hearth be consecrated as the altar for this wedding. In ancient Greece, it was done so, and so we will do it.
Beginning with the Priest and Priestess, then the Bride's Mother (if present) everyone tosses some barley onto the fire.
The Lighting
Priestess:
Hestia, Goddess of Hearth, Home, and Fire, be welcome in this home!
Priest:
Hestia, let the light of your hearth travel with Bride*, from her family home to her new husband's hearth and home. Let your light always be the center of their home together. (* Alternatively, "travel with Name, from his/her family home to his/her new spouse's hearth and home," or some other appropriate variation.)
The Priestess lights the fire in the Hearth.
The Mixing
The Priest and Priestess mix the wine and water together.
The Libations
Priest:
Many say that Hestia was always given the first and last. Today, we honor Hestia first, with this offering of wine.
A small amount of the watered wine is poured on the altar (or into a libation bowl), and then the cup is passed around the guests, each one taking a sip or flicking a drop of it onto the hearth as offering. The Priest takes the last sip, and the last portion of wine is poured upon the altar.
The Homeric Hymn to Dionysos (II):
Priestess:
I begin to sing of ivy-crowned Dionysus, the loud- crying god, splendid son of Zeus and glorious Semele. The rich- haired Nymphs received him in their bosoms from the lord his father and fostered and nurtured him carefully in the dells of Nysa, where by the will of his father he grew up in a sweet- smelling cave, being reckoned among the immortals. But when the goddesses had brought him up, a god oft hymned, then began he to wander continually through the woody coombes, thickly wreathed with ivy and laurel. And the Nymphs followed in his train with him for their leader; and the boundless forest was filled with their outcry.
And so hail to you, Dionysus, god of abundant clusters! Grant that we may come again rejoicing to this season, and from that season onwards for many a year.
A libation is poured to Dionysos.
The Second Libation:
Priestess:
We would not forget the multitudes of gracious gods, of Olympos fair and of the chthonic realms. We hope you will join us this day, and grant to us the gifts of joy and passion that accompany the wedding festivities!
A libation is poured to the other gods.
The Priest and Priestess then move to the space before the chairs and signal the music for the Groom's Entrance.
Entrance of the Groom
The Groom's party enters. First comes the young man bearing the liknon. Then the Groomsmen, carrying the gifts for Zeus, Apollon, and Dionysos. The young man moves immediately to a position behind the two chairs. The Groom and other groomsmen stand to the right.
Entrance of the Bride
The Bride's party enters. This includes the Maid of Honor, Bridesmaids bearing the gifts for Artemis, Hera, and Demeter, the flower children, the ring bearer and, finally the Bride. If the Bride's father is present he should accompany her. If she has a train bearer, then the train bearer comes last. They take position to the left.
The Sacrifice
Priest and Priestess (in unison):
Do your bring offerings for the Gods?
Bride and Groom (in unison):
We do.
The Bride and Groom offer their gifts individually, the Bride to the Priestess and the Groom to the Priest. The gifts should be offered to Artemis, Apollon, Demeter, Dionysos, Hera, and then Zeus. The Priest or Priestess touch the item with the sacrificial knife, and then put the gift into the basket.
Priest and Priestess (in unison):
May these offerings be found acceptable in your sight, O Theoi!
Bride and Groom (in unison):
May these offerings be found acceptable in your sight, O Theoi!
The Homeric Hymn to Aphrodite:
Priest:
I will sing of stately Aphrodite, gold-crowned and beautiful, whose dominion is the walled cities of all sea-set Cyprus. There the moist breath of the western wind wafted her over the waves of the loud-moaning sea in soft foam, and there the gold-filleted Hours welcomed her joyously. They clothed her with heavenly garments: on her head they put a fine, well-wrought crown of gold, and in her pierced ears they hung ornaments of orichalc and precious gold, and adorned her with golden necklaces over her soft neck and snow-white breasts, jewels which the gold- filleted Hours wear themselves whenever they go to their father's house to join the lovely dances of the gods. And when they had fully decked her, they brought her to the gods, who welcomed her when they saw her, giving her their hands. Each one of them prayed that he might lead her home to be his wedded wife, so greatly were they amazed at the beauty of violet-crowned Cytherea.
The Joining
Priestess:
Today, we witness a marriage between this couple. Marriage is more than a simple recitation of vows. It has a significance to the community in which it takes place, and also a significance in the spirits of those who participate and witness it. In ancient Greece, a marriage could be as simple as smearing mud on each other's foreheads, or as elaborate as a full temple ceremony with doves and hecatombs and feasting. Every state has its own rules, so let us fulfill the rules set about by the state in which we reside!
Priest:
The law demands that we ask, is there anyone who knows of any genuine reason why these two people should not be joined? If so, let that one speak, or forever hold peace.
Pause long enough to ensure that no one wishes to speak.
Priest:
Next, it must be determined if these two are willing that this contract shall be made. Therefore I must ask next: Groom (full legal name), will you take Bride (full legal name) to be your wife, to love her, to cherish her, to comfort her, and to care for her?
The Groom answers.
Priestess:
Bride (full legal name), will you take Groom (full legal name) to be your husband, to love him, to cherish him, to comfort him, and to care for him?
The Bride answers.
The Homeric Hymn to Hera
Priest:
I sing of golden-throned Hera whom Rhea bare. Queen of the immortals is she, surpassing all in beauty: she is the sister and the wife of loud-thundering Zeus, -- the glorious one whom all the blessed throughout high Olympus reverence and honour even as Zeus who delights in thunder.
Hail to you, Queen of Marriage, of Commitment, of Authority! Grant this nuptial couple your august presence, and your blessings upon their marriage.
Priestess:
Hera and Hestia, you who witness vows, listen as I ask. (Addressing the guests) Will all of you who are gathered here today consent and support the union of these two, friends being as a family to them and their children?
The guests respond.
The Priest and Priestess take the couple's hands and join them. If the Bride's father is present, he may wish to do this himself.
Priest (addressing the Groom):
Groom, repeat after me:
I, Groom (full legal name), take thee, Bride (full legal name) to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, to cherish, and to honour, for the benefit of us both, and of our children, of our families, and our peoples; and thereunto, before the Gods and our community, I pledge thee my love.
Priestess (addressing the Bride):
Bride, repeat after me:
I, Bride (full legal name), take thee, Groom (full legal name) to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, to cherish, and to honour, for the benefit of us both, and of our children, of our families, and our peoples; and thereunto, before the Gods and our community, I pledge thee my love.
Priest:
If there are tokens, let them be exchanged.
The couple may choose to exchange gifts, rings, or vows at this time. Traditionally, a ring is given to the Bride from the Groom, and represents her "bride price."
Priest and Priestess (in unison):
Then let them be joined! And let them make, one to the other, those vows which are between them and the Gods, and let us ask, in our hearts, that the Gods stand beside them in all things.
The Bride and Groom are seated on the chairs. The Bride's himataeon is lifted and draped over the Groom, so that the two of them are together under her veil. The young man holds the lyknon out over them. Under the veil, the Bride and Groom speak softly to each other, exchanging such vows as are between them. Music should be played during this pause. Pictures may be taken.
The Hymn to Hestia
Hestia, you who tend the holy house of the lord Apollo, the Far-shooter at goodly Pytho, with soft oil dripping ever from your locks, come now into this house, come, having one mind with Zeus the all-wise -- draw near, and withal bestow grace upon my song.
The Priestess fills the cup, spills some upon the hearth, then holds it in readiness.
Priest:
To all the gods we give thanks, for the life that has been and the life that will be. In the hope of their blessings we call forth from their joining Bride and Groom, to share with us their Sacral Feast, our Sacred Libations, and our Community.
The Best Man and Maid of Honor move to help lift the Bride's himataeon back over her head, so that for the first time her face is revealed fully to the crowd. The couple stand and face the crowd.
The Final Libation
The Priestess gives them the cup and they share it, all but the last sip, in whatever fashion is appropriate.
The Groom then leads the Bride to the Hearth, and she pours out the last of the wine upon the fire. Together they put the cup on the altar.
Couple (in unison):
Hestia, yours traditionally is the first and the last.
Priestess:
A new hearth is built, the fire of two houses is joined, the rain falls on the earth, and the river of humanity flows on.
The couple embrace and kiss. Pictures may be taken at this time.
Priest and Priestess (in unison):
We give to you this couple, (chosen names), Partners in Marriage, a family under one roof. So be it!
All:
So be it!
The music resumes or becomes louder. The couple lead out the wedding party, and the guests may ring bells, blow bubbles, throw rice, or any of the other usual wedding customs that are applicable.
Portions of this ritual were borrowed from Dromena for the Celebration of a Marriage.
