"Love at first sight is easy to understand;
it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle."
-- Amy Bloom
A Wiccan Handfasting
A Handfasting differs from a traditional wedding in many ways, but first and foremost in that it is usually performed by a Priest and Priestess.
The guests should be directed to their places by ushers, while the Priest and Priestess prepare the space, bless the salt and water, and light the candles. They return to the altar. When all are ready, the ring-bearer enters and hands the wand and rings to the Priestess. The Priest and Priestess then lead the guests in prayer:
All speak, with the Priestess leading:
Blessed be our feet, that have brought us in these ways.
Blessed be our knees, that have knelt at the sacred altars.
Blessed be our bodies, from whence springeth all life.
Blessed be our hearts, that are a temple and shrine to the Divine.
Blessed be our hands, that they may work in the ways of the Gods.
Blessed be our lips, that they may sing praises to the Divine.
Blessed be our eyes, that we may see the Gods in all things.
Priest and Priestess:
Bless these people, Lord and Lady, for they are your children.
During the processional, the Priest (P) shall play Turn! Turn! Turn! by Pete Seeger, while the Priestess (Ps) and accompanying vocalists sing. Guests should be encouraged to join in.
The guests should be directed to their places by ushers, while the Priest and Priestess prepare the space, bless the salt and water, and light the candles. They return to the altar. When all are ready, the ring-bearer enters and hands the wand and rings to the Priestess. The Priest and Priestess then lead the guests in prayer:
All speak, with the Priestess leading:
Blessed be our feet, that have brought us in these ways.
Blessed be our knees, that have knelt at the sacred altars.
Blessed be our bodies, from whence springeth all life.
Blessed be our hearts, that are a temple and shrine to the Divine.
Blessed be our hands, that they may work in the ways of the Gods.
Blessed be our lips, that they may sing praises to the Divine.
Blessed be our eyes, that we may see the Gods in all things.
Priest and Priestess:
Bless these people, Lord and Lady, for they are your children.
During the processional, the Priest (P) shall play Turn! Turn! Turn! by Pete Seeger, while the Priestess (Ps) and accompanying vocalists sing. Guests should be encouraged to join in.
Turn! Turn! Turn!
To everything
Turn, turn, turn
There is a season
Turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under Heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything
Turn, turn, turn
There is a season
Turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under Heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracings
To everything
Turn, turn, turn
There is a season
Turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under Heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late
To everything
Turn, turn, turn
There is a season
Turn, turn, turn
To everything
Turn, turn, turn
There is a season
Turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under Heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything
Turn, turn, turn
There is a season
Turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under Heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracings
To everything
Turn, turn, turn
There is a season
Turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under Heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late
To everything
Turn, turn, turn
There is a season
Turn, turn, turn
The men enter, in a group. They don't have to be serious. Teasing (Groom) is fine. When they are settled and (Groom) is watching and waiting for (Bride), the ladies should enter, compose themselves, and then (Bride) should enter last, accompanied by her father. When all have entered, the Priestess will close the Circle with rope, sealing it.
Grounding, spoken by Priestess:
In the name of the Ancient Providence, Who was from the beginning and is for eternity, Male and Female, the Original Source of all things; changeless and eternal. In the name of the Goddess of magick and love, and the God of the Underworld. In the name of the Four Quarters and their Guardians. Blessed be this place, and this time, and these who are now with us.
Quarter Calls, and God and Goddess calls, spoken by Priest (P) and Priestess (Ps):
Ps: Guardians of the East, Lords of Air, join us today, as we unite two lovers. Grant them intuition, knowledge, and the ability to learn from each other. Witness our rite, and guard this Circle. Blessed be.
P: Guardians of the South, Lords of Fire, join us today, as we unite two lovers. Grant them passion, creativity, and keep the fire of their life safely lit. Witness our rite, and guard this Circle. Blessed be.
Ps: Guardians of the West, Lords of Water, join us today, as we unite two lovers. Grant them nurturing, peace of soul, and a deep, abiding love for one another. Witness our rite, and guard this Circle. Blessed be.
P: Guardians of the North, Lords of Earth, join us today, as we unite two lovers. Grant them stability, solidity, and the knowledge that they are a part of all. Witness our rite, and guard this Circle. Blessed be.
Ps: I invoke thee, and draw thee down, Mighty Mother of us all, by bud and stem, by leaf and tree, join us! Harken to our call!
P: I invoke thee, and call thee in, Horned Father of us all, by seed and root, and flower and fruit, join us! Harken to our call!
Priestess and Priest each hold an end of the wand with the rings.
P: We are gathered in this sacred place to join this man and this woman, life to life and spirit to spirit.
Ps: Place your right hands over this wand and your rings, his hand over hers.
P: Is it your wish, (Bride), to become one with this man?
Bride: It is.
Ps: Is it your wish, (Groom), to become one with this woman?
Groom: It is.
P: If any would ask why these two should not be joined, let them stand before the Gods and those assembled here and speak now.
Challenges now ensue. These are serious, yet can be somewhat humorous. Each of the four Quarters in turn will put forth a challenge to be met. When these are done, others may be encouraged to challenge the couple. These challenges are done widdershins in order to banish all doubts and obstacles.
North voice:
I would speak. Do they have the means to support themselves and to provide for their worldly needs?
Ps: Do you?
Bride and Groom: We do.
West voice:
I would speak. Do they love one another? Do they LIKE one another?
P: Do you?
B&G: We do.
South voice:
I would speak. Do they have the will to argue, if they must, to air their problems, then stand together against adversity?
Ps: Do you?
B&G: We do.
East voice:
I would speak. Do they share their thoughts and ideas, burdens and dreams?
P: Do you?
B&G: We do.
A pause follows. Others may give challenges if they wish. When the challenges have all been met, continue.
Ps: All the challenges have been answered. Do you still wish to be married?
B&G: We do.
P: Then step forward, and hear sage counsel and advice.
P reads from Wilferd A. Peterson's The Art of Marriage:
The little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
Ps reads from Kahlil Gibran On Marriage:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together: for the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
P: Now, the binding shall be made.
The cords should be brought up, one by one, and tied on. Priest and Priestess shall say the meaning of each, as it is tied.
P: White, for true love, devotion, and protection.
Ps: Blue, for honesty, peacefulness, and devotion.
P: Green, for abundance, luck, and prosperity.
Ps: Red, for passion, deep emotions, and joyous union.
P: Purple, for meditation, spirituality, and power!
Once Bride and Groom are tied, they are blessed with the Elements, deosil this time, to infuse them with the powers of the Elements.
Ps: Your love is as the wind, rapturous and all-encompassing.
B&G are fanned with a feather.
P: Your love is as a flame, illuminating your lives and warming your hearts.
B&G are circled with the fire candle.
Ps: Your love is as the sea, constant and ever-changing.
B&G are sprinkled with blessed water.
P: Your love is as the earth, solid and firm.
B&G are sprinkled with salt.
B&G should hold the ends of the wand, facing the guests, eyes on their rings.
Ps: Yet your love extends beyond the wind, flame, sea, and earth;
it is greater than who you are and meaningless without you;
it is more powerful than your past,
yet the foundation of your future.
P: Your love has brought us here today, to become one in the eyes of your family and friends, for many days to come.
Your love is the essence of your lives. Your love enhances and renews the love of those who witness it.
Ps: You have answered our challenges with good grace.
Now you must answer the challenges you give to each other.
Now you must share your vows.
G: Will you, (Bride), take my hand and explore with me the limitless wonders of our world?
B: I will. Will you, (Groom), promise to share with me your own discoveries and new perspectives on life?
G: I will. Will you, (Bride), work with me to broaden our horizons continually and expand the boundaries of our lives?
B: I will. Will you, (Groom), live with me to the fullest, for all the days we share?
G: I will.
B: Then I, (Bride's full, legal name), offer to you, (Groom's full, legal name),
all that I am, all that I may encounter, and all that I may become.
G: And I, (Groom's full, legal name), offer to you, (Bride's full, legal name),
all that I am, all that I may encounter, and all that I may become.
B&G: Let us explore together the infinity of our love, from this day forward.
The rings should be exchanged now.
Ps: All Father, Mighty Mother: We ask that the promise and hope of this marriage be fulfilled.
P: May the happiness and intimacy of this time be recalled, many times.
Ps: May this marriage be a course of independent strength and will;
a center and respite from endless turning; a still reflection of connected lives;
a pleasant recollection of the past; and a ribbon of bright love through the future.
P: May this couple's anger at themselves and the world be honest and lively;
may silence and despair never separate them; may they always return to each other.
Ps: May their lives lie quiet beneath the flow of change.
P: May their friends welcome them again, in other times and other seasons.
Ps: We ask this in the names of the God and the Goddess, from whom all things proceed, and unto whom all things return. Blessed be!
P: Would the wedding party please come forth?
Encourage everyone to sing along with this, though only enough people to encircle (Groom) and (Bride) should actually be dancing. The chalice is given by Priestess to (Bride), and the athame is given by Priest to (Groom). Those who will be circling will then close the circle around the couple and begin singing, as they bless the wine silently. (Bride) and (Groom) may stand on a platform so that they can be seen
Grounding, spoken by Priestess:
In the name of the Ancient Providence, Who was from the beginning and is for eternity, Male and Female, the Original Source of all things; changeless and eternal. In the name of the Goddess of magick and love, and the God of the Underworld. In the name of the Four Quarters and their Guardians. Blessed be this place, and this time, and these who are now with us.
Quarter Calls, and God and Goddess calls, spoken by Priest (P) and Priestess (Ps):
Ps: Guardians of the East, Lords of Air, join us today, as we unite two lovers. Grant them intuition, knowledge, and the ability to learn from each other. Witness our rite, and guard this Circle. Blessed be.
P: Guardians of the South, Lords of Fire, join us today, as we unite two lovers. Grant them passion, creativity, and keep the fire of their life safely lit. Witness our rite, and guard this Circle. Blessed be.
Ps: Guardians of the West, Lords of Water, join us today, as we unite two lovers. Grant them nurturing, peace of soul, and a deep, abiding love for one another. Witness our rite, and guard this Circle. Blessed be.
P: Guardians of the North, Lords of Earth, join us today, as we unite two lovers. Grant them stability, solidity, and the knowledge that they are a part of all. Witness our rite, and guard this Circle. Blessed be.
Ps: I invoke thee, and draw thee down, Mighty Mother of us all, by bud and stem, by leaf and tree, join us! Harken to our call!
P: I invoke thee, and call thee in, Horned Father of us all, by seed and root, and flower and fruit, join us! Harken to our call!
Priestess and Priest each hold an end of the wand with the rings.
P: We are gathered in this sacred place to join this man and this woman, life to life and spirit to spirit.
Ps: Place your right hands over this wand and your rings, his hand over hers.
P: Is it your wish, (Bride), to become one with this man?
Bride: It is.
Ps: Is it your wish, (Groom), to become one with this woman?
Groom: It is.
P: If any would ask why these two should not be joined, let them stand before the Gods and those assembled here and speak now.
Challenges now ensue. These are serious, yet can be somewhat humorous. Each of the four Quarters in turn will put forth a challenge to be met. When these are done, others may be encouraged to challenge the couple. These challenges are done widdershins in order to banish all doubts and obstacles.
North voice:
I would speak. Do they have the means to support themselves and to provide for their worldly needs?
Ps: Do you?
Bride and Groom: We do.
West voice:
I would speak. Do they love one another? Do they LIKE one another?
P: Do you?
B&G: We do.
South voice:
I would speak. Do they have the will to argue, if they must, to air their problems, then stand together against adversity?
Ps: Do you?
B&G: We do.
East voice:
I would speak. Do they share their thoughts and ideas, burdens and dreams?
P: Do you?
B&G: We do.
A pause follows. Others may give challenges if they wish. When the challenges have all been met, continue.
Ps: All the challenges have been answered. Do you still wish to be married?
B&G: We do.
P: Then step forward, and hear sage counsel and advice.
P reads from Wilferd A. Peterson's The Art of Marriage:
The little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
Ps reads from Kahlil Gibran On Marriage:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together: for the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
P: Now, the binding shall be made.
The cords should be brought up, one by one, and tied on. Priest and Priestess shall say the meaning of each, as it is tied.
P: White, for true love, devotion, and protection.
Ps: Blue, for honesty, peacefulness, and devotion.
P: Green, for abundance, luck, and prosperity.
Ps: Red, for passion, deep emotions, and joyous union.
P: Purple, for meditation, spirituality, and power!
Once Bride and Groom are tied, they are blessed with the Elements, deosil this time, to infuse them with the powers of the Elements.
Ps: Your love is as the wind, rapturous and all-encompassing.
B&G are fanned with a feather.
P: Your love is as a flame, illuminating your lives and warming your hearts.
B&G are circled with the fire candle.
Ps: Your love is as the sea, constant and ever-changing.
B&G are sprinkled with blessed water.
P: Your love is as the earth, solid and firm.
B&G are sprinkled with salt.
B&G should hold the ends of the wand, facing the guests, eyes on their rings.
Ps: Yet your love extends beyond the wind, flame, sea, and earth;
it is greater than who you are and meaningless without you;
it is more powerful than your past,
yet the foundation of your future.
P: Your love has brought us here today, to become one in the eyes of your family and friends, for many days to come.
Your love is the essence of your lives. Your love enhances and renews the love of those who witness it.
Ps: You have answered our challenges with good grace.
Now you must answer the challenges you give to each other.
Now you must share your vows.
G: Will you, (Bride), take my hand and explore with me the limitless wonders of our world?
B: I will. Will you, (Groom), promise to share with me your own discoveries and new perspectives on life?
G: I will. Will you, (Bride), work with me to broaden our horizons continually and expand the boundaries of our lives?
B: I will. Will you, (Groom), live with me to the fullest, for all the days we share?
G: I will.
B: Then I, (Bride's full, legal name), offer to you, (Groom's full, legal name),
all that I am, all that I may encounter, and all that I may become.
G: And I, (Groom's full, legal name), offer to you, (Bride's full, legal name),
all that I am, all that I may encounter, and all that I may become.
B&G: Let us explore together the infinity of our love, from this day forward.
The rings should be exchanged now.
Ps: All Father, Mighty Mother: We ask that the promise and hope of this marriage be fulfilled.
P: May the happiness and intimacy of this time be recalled, many times.
Ps: May this marriage be a course of independent strength and will;
a center and respite from endless turning; a still reflection of connected lives;
a pleasant recollection of the past; and a ribbon of bright love through the future.
P: May this couple's anger at themselves and the world be honest and lively;
may silence and despair never separate them; may they always return to each other.
Ps: May their lives lie quiet beneath the flow of change.
P: May their friends welcome them again, in other times and other seasons.
Ps: We ask this in the names of the God and the Goddess, from whom all things proceed, and unto whom all things return. Blessed be!
P: Would the wedding party please come forth?
Encourage everyone to sing along with this, though only enough people to encircle (Groom) and (Bride) should actually be dancing. The chalice is given by Priestess to (Bride), and the athame is given by Priest to (Groom). Those who will be circling will then close the circle around the couple and begin singing, as they bless the wine silently. (Bride) and (Groom) may stand on a platform so that they can be seen
For the Beauty of the Earth
For the beauty of the earth
For the glory of the skies,
For the love which from our birth
Over and around us lies.
Refrain 1:
Lord of all, to Thee we raise,
This our hymn of grateful praise.
For the beauty of each hour,
of the day and of the night,
Hill and vale, and tree and flower,
Sun and moon, and stars of light.
Refrain 2:
Maid of all, to Thee we raise,
This our hymn of grateful praise.
For the joy of ear and eye,
For the heart and mind's delight,
For the mystic harmony
Linking sense to sound and sight.
Sing Refrain 1
For the joy of human love,
Brother, sister, parent, child,
Friends on earth and friends above,
For all gentle thoughts and mild.
Sing Refrain 2
For each perfect gift of Thine,
To our race so freely given,
Graces human and divine,
Flowers of earth and buds of Heaven.
Sing Refrain 1
For the beauty of the earth
For the glory of the skies,
For the love which from our birth
Over and around us lies.
Refrain 1:
Lord of all, to Thee we raise,
This our hymn of grateful praise.
For the beauty of each hour,
of the day and of the night,
Hill and vale, and tree and flower,
Sun and moon, and stars of light.
Refrain 2:
Maid of all, to Thee we raise,
This our hymn of grateful praise.
For the joy of ear and eye,
For the heart and mind's delight,
For the mystic harmony
Linking sense to sound and sight.
Sing Refrain 1
For the joy of human love,
Brother, sister, parent, child,
Friends on earth and friends above,
For all gentle thoughts and mild.
Sing Refrain 2
For each perfect gift of Thine,
To our race so freely given,
Graces human and divine,
Flowers of earth and buds of Heaven.
Sing Refrain 1
Ps: As the Gods and those within this circle are witness to this rite, I now proclaim you are husband and wife.
Thus are your hands fasted, and two are now made one, in the eyes of the Gods, your family and friends, and also by law!
P: You may seal your union with a kiss.
After the kiss, (Bride) and (Groom)'s hands should be untied, and their cords tied together, then presented to them.
Ps: I am honored to be the first to present to you, Mr. and Mrs. (Chosen Last Name)!
P&Ps: Mighty Mother, All-Father, thank you for blessing this couple. We bid you farewell, with love in our hearts.
Ps: Please repeat after me:
All: Glory be to thee, Oh Living Ones of light
May we forever be upon thy path of right.
Blessed be the ones we are within,
Are now, and ever shall be.
Blessed be!
Priestess opens a door out of the circle. Priest puts the besom down over the opening, and beckons (Bride) and (Groom) forward, and allows them to leave. Priestess then takes down the rest of the Circle, discreetly, and all may leave. Legal documents shall then be signed.
Thus are your hands fasted, and two are now made one, in the eyes of the Gods, your family and friends, and also by law!
P: You may seal your union with a kiss.
After the kiss, (Bride) and (Groom)'s hands should be untied, and their cords tied together, then presented to them.
Ps: I am honored to be the first to present to you, Mr. and Mrs. (Chosen Last Name)!
P&Ps: Mighty Mother, All-Father, thank you for blessing this couple. We bid you farewell, with love in our hearts.
Ps: Please repeat after me:
All: Glory be to thee, Oh Living Ones of light
May we forever be upon thy path of right.
Blessed be the ones we are within,
Are now, and ever shall be.
Blessed be!
Priestess opens a door out of the circle. Priest puts the besom down over the opening, and beckons (Bride) and (Groom) forward, and allows them to leave. Priestess then takes down the rest of the Circle, discreetly, and all may leave. Legal documents shall then be signed.
