"Love is always open arms.
If you close your arms about love you will find that you are left holding only yourself."
-- Leo Buscaglia
A Union Ceremony for Three
Intent
While polyamory (“loving more” or the love of more than two people in a single relationship) is not a legal option for groups who wish to be together and likely won't be for a very long time, it is possible to perform a union ceremony that provides the same sense of love, commitment and joy for a group that you would for a couple. The challenge is to stay away from any of the legal phrases which are required in the State and County in which you are performing the service, and that must be checked with the Clerk of the Court each time you perform a wedding or union of any kind. It's much easier to know the laws going in than to try and fix an error at a later date.
When you are approached by a group of three or more people wishing to formalize their partnership with one another, it's important to remember that they are in love just as any two people are in love when they come for a wedding. Ask the same questions, but in plural, and be observant about the little things that might give a sense of strength and unity to the group. Finding ways to affirm that love before Deity can be challenging, but is well worth the battle.
This ceremony is an Interfaith Union with nods to the religions and beliefs of all the partners involved. It has the look and feel of a more traditional wedding because the group chose to have it that way, however it could be changed to reflect any belief or collection of beliefs.
Preparation
The backyard wedding site will be formal, with rows of chairs on either side of a full aisle carpeted with white silk which is held in place by posies of flowers in small, wide based vases. A tent will be set up without walls in good weather, or with walls in place if there is rain. Guests will be seated by ushers. The altar will be low, about waist height for the minister, and will be covered in the same white silk with matching posies on either side. On the altar are three taper candles (one blue, one pink, and one red to represent the three partners) and a single large white pillar candle. Small images of ancestors are also on the altar, images of those who would have wanted to attend the ceremony. A small central votive will be lit to represent Divinity's presence.
To the left of the altar (standing in the aisle looking at the altar) is a lectern holding the minister's notes, a Bible, and some readings. A back-up pack of matches and extra candles might be stashed in the lectern if possible. A microphone will be available if needed. To the right of the altar is a small table or secondary altar holding several cords or ribbons in groups of three (three red, three pink, three blue, etc). A glass of wine and small loaf of bread will sit on the table near a rough linen bag or cloth. Decorations will include flowers, a standing cross, and an owl lantern.
Ceremony
Guests will be seated and minister will enter, walking up to the lectern. Music will rise (“Grow Old Along With Me” by John Lennon, sung by Mary Chapin Carpenter, set to repeat if necessary) as the procession begins. The minister will light all candles except the Unity pillar and tapers. The Groom and his attendants will enter first, up the aisle and to the right of the altar, Groom nearest the center. The flower girl and ring bearer will come next, followed by the Brides' attendants. The attendants will come up the aisle and to the left of the altar, except for the ring bearer who will stand with the Groom. The Brides will enter last and walk up together, hand in hand, to stand on either side of and very close to the Groom. The flower girl will stand with her mother on the left.
Minister
Friends and family, today we are gathered in this place under the watchful eyes of the Divine. We are here to witness Groom C, Bride B and Bride A as they offer vows of love and joy to one another, uniting their souls and hearts together as one family. As they make these most solemn promises to each other, let us support them as fully as we are able. Let us bow our heads in prayer.
Dear Lord, we thank you for bringing us here today, and ask your blessings upon this most holy union. The Baal Shem Tov said, “From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven, and when souls that are designed to be together find each other, their streams of light flow together and a single, brighter light goes forth from their united being.” We know that braided amongst the three streams of light here are strands of your own Divine Love, uniting them and blessing them wholly. May your Light always be intertwined with their own. Amen.
Please stand as you are able, and join us in singing the hymn, “For the Beauty of the Earth” as printed in your program.
The hymn is sung.
Minister
Please be seated.
At this time, the wedding party will sit, with the possible exception of the children, who will be allowed to sit or stand with the parents (who remain at the front) as they choose. A friend will nominally be in charge of them in case of disruption.
Minister
Bride A, Bride B, Groom C, you have come before your friends and family today, in this beautiful place, your children at your side. You come as a family already, and so we ask, why are you here today?
Bride A
Though our love is not legally sanctioned, it is important to me that we share this bond between the three of us, with all our loved ones and with the Divine. In doing so, we are bound by more than just affection; we are bound in the eye of Spirit forevermore.
Groom C
I want to share with the world just how much I love these two ladies. It doesn't matter to me that my government won't let me have a contract with them, but it does matter that our friends and family understand our commitment to one another as spouses and as parents.
Bride B
Being bound in the eyes of God means so much to me. My upbringing is Christian, and to live without the marriage bond has always been uncomfortable. Today I make my vows to the father of my children, Groom C, and to my sister in love, Bride A. I do so in front of our family and friends to legitimize the love that I have for them.
Minister
Please approach the altar and light your candles from the Source.
The minister stands behind the altar while the trio stand before it. Each takes up their taper, and they light them from the votive.
Minister
Though you three have traveled together for ten years to get to this place and this time, you have traveled separately. You have been together, and yet each of you is symbolically a lonely entity. Today, the light that shines forth from you, the light of Divinity which finds itself in one another and draws you together, is joined formally. Please light the Unity Candle together, showing all that the braided strength of your light shines strongly!
The three use their tapers to light the single Unity candle, and then place their still-lit tapers in the prepared holders.
Minister
In some candle ceremonies, the individual candles are extinguished, showing that the two have become one. While we honor your joining today, blessing the bond you create here, we also honor your individuality and unique strengths and weaknesses which are the things that keep you together as a family. Therefore, let your three tapers continue to shine throughout this service, as a reminder that the single braid of your love comes from strong, individual threads.
Please stand as you are able, and join us in the responsive reading of Khalil Gibran's “On Marriage” as printed in your Order of Service. The call shall be read by L. W., Bride B's mother.
L. W. will come to the lectern and read the call, while the guests respond.
Leader:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
People:
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
Leader:
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
People:
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Leader:
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
People:
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Leader:
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
People:
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
L will return to her seat, and the minister shall motion everyone to sit again.
Minister
Let Gibran's words of wisdom ring in your hearts and souls as you continue your life journey together. There will be times of great joy, but they will be tempered with moments of excruciating sorrow. That is life, and there is nothing that can be done to make every hurt disappear. Are you prepared to make your vows to one another at this time, to speak promises in love before the Divine?
All three say:
We are.
Minister
May I have the rings, please?
The three rings will be given to the minister by the ring bearer (the rings will be tied onto a pillow so they cannot be lost). She will hold them up so everyone can see them.
Minister
From the earliest times the circle has been a symbol of completeness, of committed love. These unbroken and unending circles symbolize a covenant of love that is also unending. As often as any of you looks at these symbols, I hope that you will be reminded of the covenants made to love each other, which you are about to make today.
Please join me in prayer.
The minister will hold the rings in her hands, cupping them as in prayer.
Minister
May all the gods of marriage bless and purify these rings, so that these three who wear them may also be pure in their love for one another. May they always be a symbol of their unconditional love for one another, untouched by the everyday frustrations and angers present in every relationship. We ask that Bride A, Groom C and Bride B not live without fighting, but that instead they learn to get over their fights quickly and make up and become stronger because of it. In the name of those Most High, let these rings be blessed. Amen.
Minister hands the ladies' rings to Groom C and Groom C's ring to the two ladies to hold together.
Minister
Groom C, I ask you now to make your vows to these lovely ladies.
Groom C
Bride B, I covenant with you to be a good and attentive partner, to be a father to our children, to take care of you and love you. For all time, you will be special to me. We share things between us that can never be shared with others, and I promise to nurture that sharing and love. Will you accept my ring?
Bride B
I will.
Groom C
Bride A, I covenant with you to be a good and attentive partner, to cherish you and love you, to hold you close. For all time, you will be special to me. We share things between us that are not shared with others, and I promise to nurture that sharing and love. Will you accept my ring?
Bride A
I will.
Bride A and Bride B
Groom C, we covenant with you to be good and attentive partners, to cherish you and love you, to work together and separately as necessary to nurture our family life. Will you accept our ring?
Groom C
I will.
Bride A
Bride B, you are my sister in spirit and heart, and though I exchange no ring with you, I want you to know that you are a part of my own soul, a part of this relationship, and I cherish you always.
Bride B
Bride A, we will always be sisters of the spirit. There is no ring to exchange between us, but I want you to know that I will always work with you to better our relationship, to learn from you, and to grow with you as a sister. I cherish you, too.
The minister will walk over to the ribbons and hold her hands over them.
Minister
In pagan traditions, a couple's hands were bound together. It was called Handfasting, and it has come down to us as a Celtic tradition of engagement. Binding the hands of three is a bit more complex than doing so for two, and so instead, I ask you each to hold out your hands for these ribbons as I explain them to you.
The minister will pick up three of each color as she speaks, and drapes one over each of their hands. This should be spoken slowly and purposefully.
Minister
I present you with red ribbons, for energy and excitement; pink for love and romance; yellow for joy and hope; blue for peace and tranquility; purple for spirituality and wisdom; brown for stability and a happy hearth; and white, for purity and reverence. Please knot together one end of your ribbons.
The trio will knot their individual ribbons. The minister will then take the end of the three bundles and braid them together as “Thank you for Loving Me” by Bon Jovi plays in the background. The trio should stand facing the guests, as the minister is down lower, back to the guests, so all can watch the braid forming. When done, she stands to the side so that all can see the braid.
Minister
These ribbons are woven together with all the love, devotion, and caring that you have for one another. The knots are sealed with God's love, binding you together in the eyes of Divinity. May this cord we have formed, strong with the twined fibers of many threads, draw your hands together in love. May the vows you have spoken never grow bitter in your mouths. You stand before us all, entwined in love, bound by commitment and fear, sadness and joy, by hardship and victory, anger and reconciliation, all of which brings strength to your union. Hold tight to one another through the good times and the bad times, and know that as you do, your strength as a family will grow.
The Brides will hold the two ends as the Groom ties the cord into a circle. The trio then move close together and clasp hands, holding them upward. The minister takes the circle and puts it over their three clasped hands to symbolize the fasting of their hands.
P. J., Groom C's mother, steps up to the lectern.
P
I'd like to share with you with the time-worn words of Max Ehrmann, from his poem Desiderata. May these words whisper their wisdom in your dreams with one another, always.
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
P returns to her seat and the minister turns to the trio.
Minister
Groom C, Bride B and Bride A, you have spoken your covenants before us today. Marriage is not a sacrament performed by a priest or minister, though. It is given by two or more people to one another, and they administer that sacrament each to the other without intercession by any other human. We have all witnessed that sacrament today, and though it is not recognized by the laws of the State of New Hampshire, you are no less partners together in a marriage of love. You may now kiss one another!
Pause as the kiss(es) happen. This is usually a picture moment, and so the pause may be a bit longer than anticipated.
Minister
Please join me in prayer.
We invoke thy gentlest blessings, O God, on all true lovers. We thank you for the revealing power of love, which creates in the ones loved the mystic beauty and glory of humanity. We thank you for the transfiguring power of love, which ripens and ennobles our nature, calling forth the hidden stores of tenderness and strength and overcomes selfishness by the passion of selfless and unconditional love.
May the love of Groom C, Bride B and Bride A be strong, that no misunderstanding loosen the bond and no passing of the years have the power to dim the light that now glows in them. May they early gain wisdom to discern the true values of life, and may no circumstances take from them the wholesome peace and inward satisfaction which only love can give.
Grant them vision to look beyond this moment to the generations yet to come, and to know that the home they create will be part of the sacred body of humanity in which you dwell, that they may have reverence for others and for themselves, and drink the cup of joy with awe. Amen.
The Minister lifts the glass of wine and bread.
Minister
And now, we will share in a communion of joy between these three, their first act as a united family under the shining face of the Divine.
Minister blesses the wine and bread in silence, then offers a sip of wine and small taste of bread to each of the three in turn. The remainder of the bread and the wine in the glass is then emptied into a small bowl or onto the ground (depending on the weather).
Minister
May the sharing of this sacrifice of wine be seen as an offering of joy and thanks to the Divine and Holy Powers that have been with us today.
Minister wraps the glass in the fabric and places it on the ground. The groom steps on the glass, breaking it.
Minister
May your union have as many facets as this broken glass, and may it last as long as this glass is broken: forevermore.
Please join me in speaking the Benediction, as printed in your Order of Service.
An Evening Family Prayer
by Robert Louis Stevenson
Lord, behold our family here assembled.
We thank you for this place in which we dwell,
for the love that unites us,
for the peace accorded to us this day,
for the hope with which we expect the morrow;
for the health, the work, the food and the bright skies
that make our lives delightful;
for our friends in all parts of the earth. Amen.
Recessional: “At Last” by Etta James. The Brides and Groom will exit first, followed by the children, Brides' attendants, Groom's attendants, and minister. Candles are left lit, however the minister should go back after people have moved on to the reception and make certain all of them are safely extinguished.
While polyamory (“loving more” or the love of more than two people in a single relationship) is not a legal option for groups who wish to be together and likely won't be for a very long time, it is possible to perform a union ceremony that provides the same sense of love, commitment and joy for a group that you would for a couple. The challenge is to stay away from any of the legal phrases which are required in the State and County in which you are performing the service, and that must be checked with the Clerk of the Court each time you perform a wedding or union of any kind. It's much easier to know the laws going in than to try and fix an error at a later date.
When you are approached by a group of three or more people wishing to formalize their partnership with one another, it's important to remember that they are in love just as any two people are in love when they come for a wedding. Ask the same questions, but in plural, and be observant about the little things that might give a sense of strength and unity to the group. Finding ways to affirm that love before Deity can be challenging, but is well worth the battle.
This ceremony is an Interfaith Union with nods to the religions and beliefs of all the partners involved. It has the look and feel of a more traditional wedding because the group chose to have it that way, however it could be changed to reflect any belief or collection of beliefs.
Preparation
The backyard wedding site will be formal, with rows of chairs on either side of a full aisle carpeted with white silk which is held in place by posies of flowers in small, wide based vases. A tent will be set up without walls in good weather, or with walls in place if there is rain. Guests will be seated by ushers. The altar will be low, about waist height for the minister, and will be covered in the same white silk with matching posies on either side. On the altar are three taper candles (one blue, one pink, and one red to represent the three partners) and a single large white pillar candle. Small images of ancestors are also on the altar, images of those who would have wanted to attend the ceremony. A small central votive will be lit to represent Divinity's presence.
To the left of the altar (standing in the aisle looking at the altar) is a lectern holding the minister's notes, a Bible, and some readings. A back-up pack of matches and extra candles might be stashed in the lectern if possible. A microphone will be available if needed. To the right of the altar is a small table or secondary altar holding several cords or ribbons in groups of three (three red, three pink, three blue, etc). A glass of wine and small loaf of bread will sit on the table near a rough linen bag or cloth. Decorations will include flowers, a standing cross, and an owl lantern.
Ceremony
Guests will be seated and minister will enter, walking up to the lectern. Music will rise (“Grow Old Along With Me” by John Lennon, sung by Mary Chapin Carpenter, set to repeat if necessary) as the procession begins. The minister will light all candles except the Unity pillar and tapers. The Groom and his attendants will enter first, up the aisle and to the right of the altar, Groom nearest the center. The flower girl and ring bearer will come next, followed by the Brides' attendants. The attendants will come up the aisle and to the left of the altar, except for the ring bearer who will stand with the Groom. The Brides will enter last and walk up together, hand in hand, to stand on either side of and very close to the Groom. The flower girl will stand with her mother on the left.
Minister
Friends and family, today we are gathered in this place under the watchful eyes of the Divine. We are here to witness Groom C, Bride B and Bride A as they offer vows of love and joy to one another, uniting their souls and hearts together as one family. As they make these most solemn promises to each other, let us support them as fully as we are able. Let us bow our heads in prayer.
Dear Lord, we thank you for bringing us here today, and ask your blessings upon this most holy union. The Baal Shem Tov said, “From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven, and when souls that are designed to be together find each other, their streams of light flow together and a single, brighter light goes forth from their united being.” We know that braided amongst the three streams of light here are strands of your own Divine Love, uniting them and blessing them wholly. May your Light always be intertwined with their own. Amen.
Please stand as you are able, and join us in singing the hymn, “For the Beauty of the Earth” as printed in your program.
The hymn is sung.
Minister
Please be seated.
At this time, the wedding party will sit, with the possible exception of the children, who will be allowed to sit or stand with the parents (who remain at the front) as they choose. A friend will nominally be in charge of them in case of disruption.
Minister
Bride A, Bride B, Groom C, you have come before your friends and family today, in this beautiful place, your children at your side. You come as a family already, and so we ask, why are you here today?
Bride A
Though our love is not legally sanctioned, it is important to me that we share this bond between the three of us, with all our loved ones and with the Divine. In doing so, we are bound by more than just affection; we are bound in the eye of Spirit forevermore.
Groom C
I want to share with the world just how much I love these two ladies. It doesn't matter to me that my government won't let me have a contract with them, but it does matter that our friends and family understand our commitment to one another as spouses and as parents.
Bride B
Being bound in the eyes of God means so much to me. My upbringing is Christian, and to live without the marriage bond has always been uncomfortable. Today I make my vows to the father of my children, Groom C, and to my sister in love, Bride A. I do so in front of our family and friends to legitimize the love that I have for them.
Minister
Please approach the altar and light your candles from the Source.
The minister stands behind the altar while the trio stand before it. Each takes up their taper, and they light them from the votive.
Minister
Though you three have traveled together for ten years to get to this place and this time, you have traveled separately. You have been together, and yet each of you is symbolically a lonely entity. Today, the light that shines forth from you, the light of Divinity which finds itself in one another and draws you together, is joined formally. Please light the Unity Candle together, showing all that the braided strength of your light shines strongly!
The three use their tapers to light the single Unity candle, and then place their still-lit tapers in the prepared holders.
Minister
In some candle ceremonies, the individual candles are extinguished, showing that the two have become one. While we honor your joining today, blessing the bond you create here, we also honor your individuality and unique strengths and weaknesses which are the things that keep you together as a family. Therefore, let your three tapers continue to shine throughout this service, as a reminder that the single braid of your love comes from strong, individual threads.
Please stand as you are able, and join us in the responsive reading of Khalil Gibran's “On Marriage” as printed in your Order of Service. The call shall be read by L. W., Bride B's mother.
L. W. will come to the lectern and read the call, while the guests respond.
Leader:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
People:
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
Leader:
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
People:
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Leader:
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
People:
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Leader:
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
People:
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
L will return to her seat, and the minister shall motion everyone to sit again.
Minister
Let Gibran's words of wisdom ring in your hearts and souls as you continue your life journey together. There will be times of great joy, but they will be tempered with moments of excruciating sorrow. That is life, and there is nothing that can be done to make every hurt disappear. Are you prepared to make your vows to one another at this time, to speak promises in love before the Divine?
All three say:
We are.
Minister
May I have the rings, please?
The three rings will be given to the minister by the ring bearer (the rings will be tied onto a pillow so they cannot be lost). She will hold them up so everyone can see them.
Minister
From the earliest times the circle has been a symbol of completeness, of committed love. These unbroken and unending circles symbolize a covenant of love that is also unending. As often as any of you looks at these symbols, I hope that you will be reminded of the covenants made to love each other, which you are about to make today.
Please join me in prayer.
The minister will hold the rings in her hands, cupping them as in prayer.
Minister
May all the gods of marriage bless and purify these rings, so that these three who wear them may also be pure in their love for one another. May they always be a symbol of their unconditional love for one another, untouched by the everyday frustrations and angers present in every relationship. We ask that Bride A, Groom C and Bride B not live without fighting, but that instead they learn to get over their fights quickly and make up and become stronger because of it. In the name of those Most High, let these rings be blessed. Amen.
Minister hands the ladies' rings to Groom C and Groom C's ring to the two ladies to hold together.
Minister
Groom C, I ask you now to make your vows to these lovely ladies.
Groom C
Bride B, I covenant with you to be a good and attentive partner, to be a father to our children, to take care of you and love you. For all time, you will be special to me. We share things between us that can never be shared with others, and I promise to nurture that sharing and love. Will you accept my ring?
Bride B
I will.
Groom C
Bride A, I covenant with you to be a good and attentive partner, to cherish you and love you, to hold you close. For all time, you will be special to me. We share things between us that are not shared with others, and I promise to nurture that sharing and love. Will you accept my ring?
Bride A
I will.
Bride A and Bride B
Groom C, we covenant with you to be good and attentive partners, to cherish you and love you, to work together and separately as necessary to nurture our family life. Will you accept our ring?
Groom C
I will.
Bride A
Bride B, you are my sister in spirit and heart, and though I exchange no ring with you, I want you to know that you are a part of my own soul, a part of this relationship, and I cherish you always.
Bride B
Bride A, we will always be sisters of the spirit. There is no ring to exchange between us, but I want you to know that I will always work with you to better our relationship, to learn from you, and to grow with you as a sister. I cherish you, too.
The minister will walk over to the ribbons and hold her hands over them.
Minister
In pagan traditions, a couple's hands were bound together. It was called Handfasting, and it has come down to us as a Celtic tradition of engagement. Binding the hands of three is a bit more complex than doing so for two, and so instead, I ask you each to hold out your hands for these ribbons as I explain them to you.
The minister will pick up three of each color as she speaks, and drapes one over each of their hands. This should be spoken slowly and purposefully.
Minister
I present you with red ribbons, for energy and excitement; pink for love and romance; yellow for joy and hope; blue for peace and tranquility; purple for spirituality and wisdom; brown for stability and a happy hearth; and white, for purity and reverence. Please knot together one end of your ribbons.
The trio will knot their individual ribbons. The minister will then take the end of the three bundles and braid them together as “Thank you for Loving Me” by Bon Jovi plays in the background. The trio should stand facing the guests, as the minister is down lower, back to the guests, so all can watch the braid forming. When done, she stands to the side so that all can see the braid.
Minister
These ribbons are woven together with all the love, devotion, and caring that you have for one another. The knots are sealed with God's love, binding you together in the eyes of Divinity. May this cord we have formed, strong with the twined fibers of many threads, draw your hands together in love. May the vows you have spoken never grow bitter in your mouths. You stand before us all, entwined in love, bound by commitment and fear, sadness and joy, by hardship and victory, anger and reconciliation, all of which brings strength to your union. Hold tight to one another through the good times and the bad times, and know that as you do, your strength as a family will grow.
The Brides will hold the two ends as the Groom ties the cord into a circle. The trio then move close together and clasp hands, holding them upward. The minister takes the circle and puts it over their three clasped hands to symbolize the fasting of their hands.
P. J., Groom C's mother, steps up to the lectern.
P
I'd like to share with you with the time-worn words of Max Ehrmann, from his poem Desiderata. May these words whisper their wisdom in your dreams with one another, always.
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
P returns to her seat and the minister turns to the trio.
Minister
Groom C, Bride B and Bride A, you have spoken your covenants before us today. Marriage is not a sacrament performed by a priest or minister, though. It is given by two or more people to one another, and they administer that sacrament each to the other without intercession by any other human. We have all witnessed that sacrament today, and though it is not recognized by the laws of the State of New Hampshire, you are no less partners together in a marriage of love. You may now kiss one another!
Pause as the kiss(es) happen. This is usually a picture moment, and so the pause may be a bit longer than anticipated.
Minister
Please join me in prayer.
We invoke thy gentlest blessings, O God, on all true lovers. We thank you for the revealing power of love, which creates in the ones loved the mystic beauty and glory of humanity. We thank you for the transfiguring power of love, which ripens and ennobles our nature, calling forth the hidden stores of tenderness and strength and overcomes selfishness by the passion of selfless and unconditional love.
May the love of Groom C, Bride B and Bride A be strong, that no misunderstanding loosen the bond and no passing of the years have the power to dim the light that now glows in them. May they early gain wisdom to discern the true values of life, and may no circumstances take from them the wholesome peace and inward satisfaction which only love can give.
Grant them vision to look beyond this moment to the generations yet to come, and to know that the home they create will be part of the sacred body of humanity in which you dwell, that they may have reverence for others and for themselves, and drink the cup of joy with awe. Amen.
The Minister lifts the glass of wine and bread.
Minister
And now, we will share in a communion of joy between these three, their first act as a united family under the shining face of the Divine.
Minister blesses the wine and bread in silence, then offers a sip of wine and small taste of bread to each of the three in turn. The remainder of the bread and the wine in the glass is then emptied into a small bowl or onto the ground (depending on the weather).
Minister
May the sharing of this sacrifice of wine be seen as an offering of joy and thanks to the Divine and Holy Powers that have been with us today.
Minister wraps the glass in the fabric and places it on the ground. The groom steps on the glass, breaking it.
Minister
May your union have as many facets as this broken glass, and may it last as long as this glass is broken: forevermore.
Please join me in speaking the Benediction, as printed in your Order of Service.
An Evening Family Prayer
by Robert Louis Stevenson
Lord, behold our family here assembled.
We thank you for this place in which we dwell,
for the love that unites us,
for the peace accorded to us this day,
for the hope with which we expect the morrow;
for the health, the work, the food and the bright skies
that make our lives delightful;
for our friends in all parts of the earth. Amen.
Recessional: “At Last” by Etta James. The Brides and Groom will exit first, followed by the children, Brides' attendants, Groom's attendants, and minister. Candles are left lit, however the minister should go back after people have moved on to the reception and make certain all of them are safely extinguished.
